How to change your perspective
It's all about perspective. . . . right?
You Can reframe your thoughts to ease anxiety about a specific situation!
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My 3 year old, Linus, I have learned is very creative and has a grand imagination. However, it’s taken me a while to see that perspective. He has (too) many toys and every day, instead of using the toys for their intended use, he instead makes “houses”, “boats”, "diggers", or other structures/machines with them. See picture below. This is a house and actually, one of his more simple creations.
Why did I get so frustrated and anxious? I thought about this for a while. One thing I am very self aware of is that I HATE clutter!!! I despise it! It makes me anxious and irritable. I love when things are straight (literally parallel) and in their assigned place. So when he started making these structures and machines I would immediately want to organize it "the right" way. Wait what? The right way? Who am I to say my way is the right way, especially in free play using creativity and imagination! This was definitely my problem and I needed to change my perspective or reframe the situation.
So this is what I did. Linus would get so excited and say "Mommy, come see my digger! It's beautiful!" I could feel my body cringe at the thought of toys everywhere in disarray. I took a deep breath and reframed my thoughts and the situation. I would force a smile on my face! Then I would ask him questions about his masterpiece.
Deep breaths calm the body and the mind. It increases the flow of oxygen to your brain and muscles to give a sense of calmness. Reframing your thoughts! (Check out my first blog post on how our thoughts work and how to manage them!) My automatic thoughts when Linus first started making these structures was "This is so messy!", or "Oh my gosh there are toys everywhere!!" which led me to want to pick things up and organize them. He did not want that at all because to him, they WERE organized! I would ruin all his hard work if I did that! And what he does IS hard work! So when those automatic thoughts enter my head I change them. I create a new perspective and new thoughts. My new thought I use is when he shows me his creations is a reminder. . . "Remember all the work and effort put into this and look how proud he is!" By changing how I view the situation I change how I feel. This thought makes my heart happy and I appreciate his efforts. I don't feel overwhelmed with this thought. I feel happy and have an interest in his "house" or whatever he built.
I also force myself to smile! I'm sure you've done that before with your kids, right?? They do something they think is great and you . . . . just smile! Haha! Learn a little more about this skill here. Lastly, I ask him questions. It's so fun to be engaged in your childs play. I ask him to tell me about it and he begins to excitedly show me the specificities of the house; the door, window, back yard, grill, his car. . . . his ideas are endless and excite him so much!! His happy face and sense of pride is amazing!
I hope this helps you reframe a tough situation in your life! Hang in there! Anxiety is hard! You Can learn strategies little by little to manage it and feel better! <3
Feeling anxious? The Anxiety Workbook is a great way to get to know and decrease your anxiety.
If you're like me and struggle with Postpartum Anxiety you may find this Pregnancy & Postpartum Anxiety Workbook helpful!
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